I came over for the weekend so we can have a crucial discussion. While waiting for you to return, I was looking round the house for something to keep busy with since there was no power supply for the TV to serve. That was when I saw the jewellery case on your chest of drawers. I broke down in tears all over again. Now, I know what happened to my ring the day I pulled off my jewellery in your car on our way home from Denzel’s wedding. I didn’t suspect a thing then because pieces of jewellery go missing all the time and they get found in unlikely corners.
I remember how we started. I remember the letters we exchanged during our secondary school days. They didn’t start out like the usual “lifting pen from the basket of love and doxology” kind of letters. Our letters talked about how we fared with Math and Chemistry, the thrills of inter-school debate and chess competitions and our hopes of a glamorous university campus life just like we saw in Nollywood movies. Until I mentioned in one of my letters that you were beginning to make grand appearances in my dreams. I would discover afterwards that you had always been in love with me but you were too scared to say so. You were fearless in everything I saw you do, everything except making the first move to step up what we shared from a simple friendship to a romantic relationship.
That delay must have been good for us because we were different from other lovers our age . We didn’t need to go on a date to have a great time. Doing laundry together or helping out in your father’s shop were for us, precious and awesome moments. I remember the days we spent compiling a list of names for our kids. We argued about which gender was better as first children. Many times, I have daydreamt of our son Enyinnaya who I always prayed would have your sleepy eyes. I always looked forward to troubling you during my pregnancies. I have read about strange cravings that pregnant women develop and I’ve hoped that one of mine would be roasted intestines. I know you hate animal innards so I wanted to see the horror on your face when I demand for it and the helplessness with which you’ll hurry down to Amaeze Avenue to buy them.
I would have run into your arms and screamed while forcing out tears of joy like the ladies I see on Instagram. I would have ensured that my nails are polished till further notice to ensure that in addition to a glittering engagement ring, the nails are brightly coloured and picture-perfect. I would have said yes and brought the dreams of our family and friends to reality. I would have loved to see the excitement from my mother when the wedding dates are finally fixed.
However my darling, I just discovered my genotype is AS, contrary to my mother’s assumptions all along.
Ijeoma, my elder sister did a genotype test as part of an entry requirement into the boarding school and results showed hers as AA. There was never a need for me to do a test as my school didn’t require it. When I confronted my mother, she said she felt it was only normal that my sister and I have the same genotype. I don’t blame her, anyway. She is not very literate to understand some of these things and I took it for granted. I have always known you are AS. I saw your medical records years ago, when I helped you scan some of your credentials.
We both know how much we love each other but I’m not sure this is one of those things that love can conquer especially since we both love children and would want to have our own babies. I don’t know what else to do right now but I hope we can both do what is best for us and for children that will be brought into this world.
As lovingly as always,